May I share with you my favourite nun story? When I was 13, we stopped off for a slap-up supper in a restaurant one evening. We were given the last table, sandwiched between a group of nuns, and a table where two very staid, very buttoned-up couples were having an awkward birthday dinner. Proceedings were enlivened considerably when a policewoman arrived and sternly rebuked the birthday boy for a car-related crime. The poor man looked both baffled and as though he might have a heart attack. Gravely, she said she would have to take him to the police station. As the colour drained from his face, she added, 'But first...' and launched into a striptease routine.
Quivering, the oldest nun rose to her feet, hissed at the younger ones to 'avert their eyes'. As one, the nuns picked up their plates and scuttled out of dining room. The buttoned-up couples had that look of 'it was a good idea at the time, but the reality is excruciating'. When the not-a-policewoman had concluded, the horrified silence was broken by only by my dad's helpless laughter, and my little brother: eyes saucer-wide, who piped, "Is she coming to us next?"
There is only one possible explanation for the nun/watermelon conundrum…target practice in a remote forest (it had to be watermelons as the non-alcoholic alternative to beer bottles).
So cheering, my favourite read! However am left wondering if you boiled your own chickpeas for the hummus, how else could it take 3.5 hours? That is commitment to a dip and should be applauded.
The thank you for reading! No, the Full Business Day Hummus took that long because I kept having to go and sit in unexpected work zoom call so has to keep abandoning it! 😂
A parade of joy indeed and the Czech version of Wake me Up was a cracker ….along with the stony faces of some of the audience members. I will now spend the rest of my day with a smile on my face. Thank you.
I share your feelings on soccer… and how odd that they’re holding lots of the World Cup in Seattle, where I am. Thankfully I haven’t seen any streets full of hooligans.
America is getting to be very sorry they elected the wrong President… and it seems the real 250th Birthday happened last week at the Obama Library opening.
I saw a rottweiler in a sidecar on Friday as I was driving home, sadly it was parked up and the lights changed so I didn't get to see if they were going to put a helmet on it or not. Made my day!
A less-than-fully-fledged seagull wandered into my house yesterday, and we spent quite some time looking at each other. I’m pretty sure we were both thinking “where’s Mr Alex T Smith when you need him?”
"It took me back to being nine and spending my playground time at school making rose perfume with my mates on the bottom of a rusty, upturned bin. Estée Lauder was reportedly quaking…"
I'm laughing because around the same age, my best friend and I spent hours making perfume out of baby powder, water, and a healthy squirt of my mother's Chanel. And then had the nerve to go door to door selling this concoction. (I don't think anyone bought any though.)
Alex, this is such a joy - THANK YOU.
May I share with you my favourite nun story? When I was 13, we stopped off for a slap-up supper in a restaurant one evening. We were given the last table, sandwiched between a group of nuns, and a table where two very staid, very buttoned-up couples were having an awkward birthday dinner. Proceedings were enlivened considerably when a policewoman arrived and sternly rebuked the birthday boy for a car-related crime. The poor man looked both baffled and as though he might have a heart attack. Gravely, she said she would have to take him to the police station. As the colour drained from his face, she added, 'But first...' and launched into a striptease routine.
Quivering, the oldest nun rose to her feet, hissed at the younger ones to 'avert their eyes'. As one, the nuns picked up their plates and scuttled out of dining room. The buttoned-up couples had that look of 'it was a good idea at the time, but the reality is excruciating'. When the not-a-policewoman had concluded, the horrified silence was broken by only by my dad's helpless laughter, and my little brother: eyes saucer-wide, who piped, "Is she coming to us next?"
I have HONKED with laughter over every word of this! SO good! Thank you so much for sharing!
I should add that the policewoman did NOT come to us next, but she did wink extravagantly in our direction as she sashayed from the room.
I am crying with laughter! Thank you!
This made my day! Thank you
There is only one possible explanation for the nun/watermelon conundrum…target practice in a remote forest (it had to be watermelons as the non-alcoholic alternative to beer bottles).
You are ONTO SOMETHING!
Sheer delight again! Thank you.
❤️
❤️
Didn’t know I needed to order mantle ornaments and 3D cards when I woke up this morning, but it appears I do!
They are so incredible!
They arrived this morning - love them!
This makes me so happy. SO happy.
❤️ I’m SO glad! Thank you for reading!
I just need to know, who lies down to soak in a bath with their head at the tap end? 🤔
I think probably the woman who had had a magpie in her kitchen! 😂
I thought that the dog had been painted on the leather jacket 😂
I did too until it turned to looked at me and then I flailed my arms about like Kermit!
So cheering, my favourite read! However am left wondering if you boiled your own chickpeas for the hummus, how else could it take 3.5 hours? That is commitment to a dip and should be applauded.
The thank you for reading! No, the Full Business Day Hummus took that long because I kept having to go and sit in unexpected work zoom call so has to keep abandoning it! 😂
This is the absolute best - thank you ! ❤️
Thank you for reading!
A parade of joy indeed and the Czech version of Wake me Up was a cracker ….along with the stony faces of some of the audience members. I will now spend the rest of my day with a smile on my face. Thank you.
Thank you for reading! I’m never getting over how that one backing singer says “MUZIK BOX”
I share your feelings on soccer… and how odd that they’re holding lots of the World Cup in Seattle, where I am. Thankfully I haven’t seen any streets full of hooligans.
I keep wondering what America is making of it all?
America is getting to be very sorry they elected the wrong President… and it seems the real 250th Birthday happened last week at the Obama Library opening.
I saw a rottweiler in a sidecar on Friday as I was driving home, sadly it was parked up and the lights changed so I didn't get to see if they were going to put a helmet on it or not. Made my day!
“I saw a Rottweiler in a sidecar” is amongst the best sentences I have ever read!
A less-than-fully-fledged seagull wandered into my house yesterday, and we spent quite some time looking at each other. I’m pretty sure we were both thinking “where’s Mr Alex T Smith when you need him?”
This made me laugh out loud! Are you still With Seagull?
A multitude of joy as always but I am left with the glorious image of a rabbit cheerleading with poppies as pom-poms.
Thank you for reading! 🐰
"It took me back to being nine and spending my playground time at school making rose perfume with my mates on the bottom of a rusty, upturned bin. Estée Lauder was reportedly quaking…"
I'm laughing because around the same age, my best friend and I spent hours making perfume out of baby powder, water, and a healthy squirt of my mother's Chanel. And then had the nerve to go door to door selling this concoction. (I don't think anyone bought any though.)
I love this! We also tried to seek our product! Didn’t go well… 😂
Elizabeth Harbour's mantlepiece ornaments are a joy. As are those folk costumes - I particularly liked the grey wombley thing...
So many of those costumes are very covetable!